↗WE ARE ALL
INVESTORS.$INVESTOR
BUY $INVESTOR ↗
THE PEOPLE’S FINANCIAL INSTRUMENT*

WE ARE ALL
INVESTORS.

$INVESTOR / $SPY ↗

Because what else would “investor” be paired with?

Robinhood said we are all investors.
We took that literally.

BUY $INVESTOR ↗VIEW CHART ↗

*Financial instrument may contain absolutely no financial instruments.

number go up ↗Bald investor in a blue tie, operating a CRT computer from his cardboard Trading HQ
FIG. 001 — THE EVERYDAY INVESTORSTILL BULLISH ↗
OPEN TO EVERYONE. QUALIFIED BY NO ONE.SCROLL TO INVESTIGATE ↓
01 / THE ORIGIN STORY

IT STARTED WITH
FOUR WORDS.

Robinhood built the motto.
Retail invented the lifestyle.
We made the ticker.
Then paired it with $SPY.

obviously ↗
this was inevitable ↘
Loading the original X post…
EMPLOYEE OF THE MARKET
The investor at his cardboard office, still bullishour entire research department.
02 / HUMAN CAPITAL

MEET THE
INVESTOR.

No Bloomberg Terminal.
No finance degree.
No clue what EBITDA means.

Still invested. ↗

PORTFOLIO
Green
STRATEGY
Buy
TIME HORIZON
Until rich
RISK TOLERANCE
Yes
OFFICE
Cardboard box
MARKET OUTLOOK
Still bullish
BENCHMARK
$SPY
03 / APPLIED FINANCE

ARE YOU
AN INVESTOR?

Take the legally meaningless assessment.

qualification takes approximately 60 seconds ↗
$INVESTOR / $SPY — INVESTOR COMPETENCY ASSESSMENTFORM 001
CANDIDATE REGISTRATIONNO WRONG ANSWERS. LEGALLY.
THE INVESTOR CERTIFICATION EXAM™

YOUR FUTURE.
NOW ACCREDITED.*

Eight questions. Six investor types.
One extremely attainable qualification.

Leave blank to qualify as ANONYMOUS INVESTOR.
*By absolutely nobody of consequence.
$INVESTOR DEPARTMENT OF INVESTOR RELATIONSEST. 2026
EVERYONE PASSES.

Because: WE ARE ALL INVESTORS.

*Certification carries no legal, professional, academic, financial or emotional significance.
04 / OUR PEOPLE

WE REALLY ARE
ALL INVESTORS.

Different strategies.
Same button.

INVESTOR #001↗

THE LONG-TERM INVESTOR

Held for:
11 minutes

patience is everything.
INVESTOR #002↗

THE TECHNICAL ANALYST

Strategy:
Draw lines until bullish

↗ ↗ ↗
INVESTOR #003↗

THE VALUE INVESTOR

Thesis:
It went down a lot

basically on sale.
INVESTOR #004↗

THE QUANT

Tools:
Calculator app

47 + 32 = rich
INVESTOR #005↗

THE INSIDER

Edge:
Saw the tweet early

extensive due diligence.
INVESTOR #006↗

THE INSTITUTION

AUM:
£47.32

Benchmark: $SPY

too big to fail.
An enormous army of bald, blue-tied investors carrying We Are All Investors banners

ONE INVESTOR IS A RETAIL TRADER.

A MILLION INVESTORS
IS PRICE DISCOVERY.

WE ARE ALL INVESTORS.

THE INVESTOR TOKEN.
PAIRED WITH THE MARKET.

$INVESTOR / $SPY
SAME PEOPLE. HIGHER PRICES.
05 / THE FUNDAMENTALS

INVESTOR RELATIONS

Extremely serious
corporate information.

NAMEWe Are All Investors
TICKER$INVESTOR
PAIR$SPY
PAIRING$INVESTOR / $SPY
CHAINRobinhood Chain
CONTRACTTBA

THE INVESTOR TOKEN
PAIRED WITH THE MARKET.

$INVESTOR / $SPY

If the ticker is INVESTOR, the pair was inevitable.

BUY $INVESTOR ↗
THEY WERE RIGHT.

WE ARE ALL
INVESTORS.

$INVESTOR / $SPY

The investor token.
Paired with the market.

BECOME AN INVESTOR ↗

No qualifications required.